For perspective, she was out on the area in Ibiza, the wind was warm, she was wearing knock flop- but Jama is even newly one. Her Ibiza appearance was not just Hot Love Island Style, it was a five-star Punishment Dress, at least according to her fans.
The timing certainly puts it in the Revenge Dress ( RD ) category. Within a few hours, she and the singer announced in a mutual declaration that they were leaving once more. And it undoubtedly qualifies as a head turner ( the most important quality of an RD ).
In Maya’s situation, however, issues are somewhat more sophisticated. A Punishment Dress typically scores 9 or 10 on the Appearance At Me size, and her clothes also typically hit a 9 or 10 on the same magnitude. By definition, a revenge dress has some degrees of wow above and beyond your typical dressed up best. Without a subsequent thought, she wears anxious nude clothes and rubberized bra heads.
Added to that, according to the couple’s detailed statement, their split couldn’t be more amicable. So there’s no punishment per se, on this occasion. Just good emotions.
Also it’s in the ballpark of Revenge Dresses. An RD is actually any clothing worn with the intention, aware or normally, of making people see you and repent having let you go, even if the break-up was your plan.
Strictly speaking, it shouldn’t be called a Revenge Dress, it should be called a Look What You’re Missing Now Dress or a See How Quickly I Moved On Dress. Or even a Don’t You Just Love Being Back in Control Dress. But retaliation has a good ring to it and, if the look of it hurts anyone a little, well, so much the better.
We’ve all had our RD times. Sometimes they are thrust upon you: you find out he’s going to be at the group and have to work quickly, clean your puffy eye, get out of bed, and use a maximum effect gown from your most va va va voom friend.
Sometimes an RD is something you haven’t been able to wear for years, or it’s a dress you loved but he never imagined you would, or it’s an outfit you don’t need to be a dress to protect your shattered heart.
However, all Rounds are meant to send a message of rebellion, a concept that there is hope for you after your father, and that there are also endless possibilities. You might not be able to bear him any bad feelings, but you would still be able to feel proud that things didn’t turn out differently. Would you rather your upcoming girl be as warm as I am?
Like retaliation itself, the RD should be properly planned and not carried away in a rage. The Gucci little black dress Diana wore to a Vanity Fair gathering at the Serpentine Gallery party 30 years before, the day of the Jonathan Dimbleby meeting, when Charles was wearing it, is what is forever remembered.
That costume had it all. It was dark ( along with crimson the best revenge colours – dramatic, strong, confident ). It was much more lean and seductive than anything she had ever wore. And it was Caroline Charles, a racy fast-lane Gucci, not a calm, bright Caroline Charles, another small indication that she was a woman who was on a roll.
We all recall it because it was remarkably seductive and beautiful. Since we’ve got in the practice of equating punishment dressing with physique presenting, flesh flashing, traffic stopping dressing- the more on show the louder the message- but this is standard entry-level revenge dressing.
The best RD should make your ex-lover wonder, admire, and ponder both because of how confident, radiant, and gorgeous you both look. The most authentic version of you. The one that you’d been hiding, or they’d been suppressing, or your life together somehow denied. You may achieve this with second-skin bright blue lace or a leg-revealing skirt ( both in Maya’s case ), or you might get there with something long, black and achingly sophisticated that makes him think: ‘ Who’s that? Did I underestimate her? ‘
For her first public appearance since splitting from Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner went in a one-shoulder, sculpted diva gown that looked couture, wore with a smoky eye, and pout. Perfectly pitched RD, especially since her brand was fresh-faced girl-next-door. Showing what you’ve got but not necessarily revealing everything is a big part of successful, memorable revenge dressing.
After Brad Pitt traded her for Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston also chose the softly slay-them route. She turned up alone to the premiere of her 2005 film Derailed in a soft gold, sequin embellished, sleeveless Chanel dress which might have been stitched on her perfect, toned body. It was her Marilyn dress moment. She positively glowed, and that happy, healthy appearance is a must-have for an RD: no amount of glove-fit couture can accomodate a month of sleepless nights.
Celebrity females should never be considered for retaliation. It’s not easy to pump up the wow factor given how they look on an average, all’s well day.
The fabulous, very low-cut silver satin dress Liz Hurley wore in 2000, a few months after she and Hugh Grant had parted company, was as RD as they get. The safety-pin Versace dress she wore, however, was equally as beautiful.
Likewise, the short sequin dress Britney Spears looked a lot like a dress Britney would wear to her own film premiere: dazzling camera candy, and mischievous. When you’re dressing up all the time, it’s a little harder to get the boat out and look your best after a breakup.
Additionally, it means that celebrities are less likely to laugh at themselves in the RD zone.
We civilians are more vulnerable, and we can spot a hastily chosen civilian RD at 50 paces. A Revenge Dress must be sexy but it doesn’t have to cling, it doesn’t have to be low cut or leg revealing and, if you’re considering an RD, remember it should never be all of the above. Most importantly, it should appear like you were born wearing it, not as you borrowed it from a hefty, one-size-fits-all friend.
However, you might want to ask her for her advice. Like beer goggles, post break-up goggles are a real thing. You are likely to feel a little unmoored and more prepared to take risks in the red mist of the bitter end of a relationship, or in the rosy glow of freedom ( or maybe you just don’t care ). An RD should murmur sweet revenge, not roar it from the rooftops because the whole point is you should look like you’ve moved onto being the new, back-and-even-better-than-before you, not someone desperately trying to get her ex’s attention.
Good dressing techniques for recently divorced people are:
- Having to wear very high heels because your partner is tall is previously impossible to do so.
- Boho relaxed festival style which you couldn’t get away with previously because he was more of a golf club, shirt-and-tie type,
- Leopard print ( if he hated it, some men do )
- Altering a dress he gave you and turning it into a steamy hot dress.
- stepping out of your comfort zone and carrying it off. If you remember, the Princess of Wales, during the brief period when she and William were’ on a break’, wasted no time getting into a very cute Seventies roller disco outfit, and, guess what, it worked like a dream. Before you could say “nice hotpants,” they were back on.
How effective is revenge dressing? It’s a great self-esteem booster. It’s fun. It’s worth it. But if you really want revenge, chop up his best shirts. Better still, date his best friend.