Weddings can be some of the most special and beautiful moments of a person’s life. However, it’s definitely not an uncommon opinion to think that weddings can stir up a LOT of drama, especially in the months leading up to the big day.
Everyone has to invest time, money, and energy into the event, so it’s no wonder friendships are often put to the test.
One friendship was definitely put to the test in a wild story concerning user , who walked out of her friend’s wedding dress fitting after she realized she was being made fun of.
In a to the Am I The Asshole subreddit, she explained:
“I have two friends: Gaby and Shelly. All of us are 23, if that matters. We were roommates in college and stayed in the same city after graduation. While the three of us are close, I’ve always known that Gaby and Shelly are the closest. They have a really sweet friendship.”
“Shelly is getting married. Gaby is the maid of honor and I’m one of the bridesmaids. Over the weekend, I went with Shelly so she could look at wedding dresses. Gaby was supposed to come with us but got called into work last minute. I helped Shelly pick out some dresses then she went with the consultant to try them on.”
“Shelly asked that I take pictures and videos on her phone to send to her mom and Gaby. I was getting the camera ready when a text from Gaby came through. I didn’t mean to click on it and was instantly going to click back out when I saw one of my Instagram pictures in their private chat from earlier that morning. Both were making fun of me for the face I was making and my outfit choice. It didn’t appear to be very good nature.”
“I admit, curiosity got the best of me so I searched my name in the chat. I found multiple pictures that I, my boyfriend, or my mom have posted of myself, absolutely ripping them to shreds. Ranging from selfies to posed shots to even a few baby pictures. They’d also make fun of me in general in terms of the way I talked, wore my hair, and the way I ate. This went back as far as I could tell, at least a year.”
“My heart broke. It all felt so juvenile and high school. While we all joke around, I would never do this to them nor have they ever even tried to instigate these types of conversations with me about the other one on one. I was in tears. As someone who was bullied all through middle and high school, it just brought me back to a horrible place. I put the phone in Shelly’s purse and brought it to another employee, telling her to tell Shelly that I had to go. I drove home and had a long cry.”
“Shelly texted me by the time I made it home asking where I went. I said I was going home and we could talk later. When she did call a few hours later, she was understandably confused and hurt that I left. I told her what I found, explaining that I only looked further because of the initial text I accidentally saw. She went off on me for looking through her private texts and said those were none of my business. She also told me I shouldn’t have left the store without saying anything. I said I didn’t want to make a scene but also knew I couldn’t fake being happy for her.”
“Shelly told me the texts were ‘all in good fun’ and clearly she loves me because I’m going to be her bridesmaid. She added that I’m only hurt because I chose to read all those texts. Later on, Gaby called to tell me that I invaded Shelly’s privacy and hurt her by walking out.”
“My boyfriend and mom think I did the right thing by walking out. But obviously, they’re a little biased. I just want some unbiased looks: was I an asshole to look through the texts and then leave?”
Many people had strong opinions on the situation, and virtually everyone was in agreement that OP wasn’t the asshole.
“If I was in your place, I think I’d drop out of being in the wedding, commented. “It’s one thing to jokingly make fun of someone one time but seems like they have done this to you a bunch of times. And it doesn’t seem like it was light-hearted. If I were you I wouldn’t feel bad about looking through those messages at all, she handed her phone to you and feels like fate took the opportunity to expose them to you for who they are.”
Someone else who goes by echoed this sentiment. “I’m super strict about phone privacy but once she was stupid enough to start a mean chat on the day she knew she’d be handing you her phone, she could have no reasonable expectation of privacy,” they wrote. “Given the likelihood of a horrible message, you’d naturally feel compelled to investigate.”
And finally, offered this: “Searching her phone was maybe crossing the line, but that line is far less important than two supposed friends spending months making fun of you behind your back. The all-in-good fun excuse doesn’t hold water because you were not a party to it. You don’t hide things like that from people unless you’re aware of the fallout that would happen if you didn’t.”