1. Modesty
The notion that chastity can be a part of marriage may look great. But it does. What, after all, is modesty? Ok, I resemble Karol Wojtya: modesty is a virtue that upholds the ideals of sex and sexual attraction. Sexuality and passion are important aspects of human existence. God created them, and so they are nice, but they can get abused. When they overshadow the person’s worth, or when they turn into a physical thing in the first place, they are abused. That is bad, outside relationship or in it.
Today, let’s be honest. There are fashion and style variations that do exactly that: accentuate the intimate over the individual. That is not a Christian perspective, and it shouldn’t be our perspective as we celebrate a Christian marriage.
I won’t venture to offer standards or indicators of. Suffice it to say that people tend to know what is modest (and attractive) —or immodest—when they see it. And the Christian wedding should be at least properly attired to avoid being confused with “the girl in red,” which is a symbolic colour. Rarely do style and modesty go out of style.
2. Hunger
No, purchasing a wedding gown should not be the result of poverty. Weddings are often pressed to “state yes to the dress,” no matter how vulgar… the price tag. Well, a wedding is a great time, a party, a once- in- a- lifetime event. Perhaps a family has a history that encourages the passing of a wedding dress down to the next generation, which suggests a better investment.
But I suspect that this is unique, which afterwards reminds us: it’s a one- day use. A bride may be beautiful, interesting, respectable, and appealing without actually spending a fortune on the dress. That suggests some restraint in the investment, particularly when the extra can be put to longer- expression use by today’s younger couples, who are often starting out in weak financial circumstances.
Why mention hunger? After all, what’s so wonderful about hunger? Also, separation from the outside world is a fundamental component of any faith. Our way to God is frequently blocked by numerous obstacles. Being able to say “no” to them is one way we learn not to be diverted on that journey. A young couple will likely not be rolling in the dough at first, but learning to do what is gorgeous without breaking the bank and without having to pay more money for a time is a good thing. It’s a readiness for existence, of being allowed up to say “no” to things and to surrender what’s dear to us for the other. Want an example (and get a jump on Christmas)? Read O. Henry’s little story.
Hunger does not mean ugly, but it does mean easy. And simple may be stylish.
3. Behavior
No, I won’t quote you on the traditional marriage vow to “love, honor, and obey” ( which is probably heard far more frequently from Protestant clergy with English accents than anywhere else in old movies ). In terms of obedience, I want to suggest someone who is both husband and wife expected to be faithful.
God is Love ( 1 John 4: 8 ). God is also Life ( John 14: 6 ). Those two realities—life and love—are what relationship should be about. Just in the same way that they are traditional in their marriages, as they reflect God, the creator of life and love. That’s why I resist the idea that the marriage day is the “bride’s day”. It’s also the couple’s time. But above all, it’s God’s moment.
For this morning, God has given both bride and groom a particular communion for the rest of their lives. That’s why the emphasis ought to be it. That doesn’t diminish the joy or specialness of the day, either. It may, in truth, amplify all of those.
But we want to honor this day out of obedience to that God, who is the true measure of any passion and the lord and giver of life. In that sense, our party wants to be humble, because God is the creator of all products, including sexual and gender charm. We want it to be easy, because indeed, this is the end of a lifetime collectively, but there’s still that whole life to live.
Obedience in marriage is a crucial trait because it involves following God’s instructions and his wedding plans, a conception that is mysterious to our lifestyle. It involves a determination “till death do us part”, not just in words, but in activities. How many Catholic directly say to themselves, “Divorce will never be for me”? It requires a willingness to accept life as God intended ( even if we didn’t ). How some Catholics think prevention, also contraception, is “okay”? It involves a commitment to luxury. Simply look in the documents to see the plan for “polyamory”, recently simply called adultery.
The Christian relationship that is reasonable, basic, and obedient to Christian faith need not be boring or sad. More, it can be a model of the objectives of a life lived in trust according to those principles for the rest of the bride’s and groom’s living together, starting now. In that regard, the wedding day is more of a model for a lifetime than the occasion for excess bling. A lifetime that will be challenged by chastity, one that will sometimes need to be simpler in living the “poorer” of “for richer, for poorer,” one that is faithful to the law and teaching of Christ, whose union to his Church serves as the benchmark and measure for what the Christian marriage is.
Takers?